My child has ADHD. Now what?
“They are incredible thinkers. They just need a little help understanding their own thoughts.”
As part of our “Now What?” series of article, our experts discuss Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD.
Maybe your child’s teacher told you they won’t stop talking in class. Or maybe your daughter jumps up from the dinner table before anyone else is done eating. Maybe your son has broken more than one bone trying dangerous tricks on his bike. Could this mean they have ADHD?
Challenges in Diagnosing ADHD
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a brain-based condition that affects impulse control, concentration, working memory, and planning for up to 10 percent of children and teens in the United States. Boys are more likely to be diagnosed with this disorder than girls, though research suggests that the condition often looks different in girls and their symptoms may be blamed on other causes.
Studies have also shown that, compared with White children, Black and Latinx children are less likely to receive an ADHD diagnosis, depriving them of treatment and exposing them instead to punishment for behaviors that arise from the disorder. These disparities in diagnosis may result from a combination of factors, including an overrepresentation of White boys as ADHD research subjects, medical racism that alienates people of color from seeking care, and a tendency to over-diagnose Black children with conduct disorders.
Black, indigenous, and Latinx parents who are concerned about their child’s ability to focus and practice impulse control are encouraged, whenever possible, to seek out professional help from a clinician who uses structured diagnostic tools rather than subjective assessments—someone who understands their patients’ culture and the damaging effects of racism and is on guard against implicit bias.
“She Just Can’t Stop”Amera was an active, chatty, and imaginative child when she entered first grade, but by the third month of the school year she was not doing well.
“She didn’t want to go to school,” her mom, Melina, remembers. “She was anxious and bit her nails until they were bloody.” Amera wasn’t sleeping well and started doing things that she wouldn’t normally do, like cutting her younger brother’s hair.
“I asked why she did that, and she started crying,” Melina recalls. “She just said, ‘I don’t know!’”
Melina had been diagnosed with ADHD herself only a couple of years before, and she knew it is often hereditary. She filled out a Vanderbilt assessment, the standard questionnaire for ADHD, and got Amera’s classroom and Sunday school teachers to do the same. She presented the questionnaires to her pediatrician, who diagnosed Amera with a type of ADHD called “combined ADHD.” They decided to try giving Amera a very low dose of methylphenidate, a stimulant drug commonly prescribed for ADHD.
Happy and Capable
“The change was immediate and mind-blowing,” Melina says. Amera used to feel like she was always in trouble and could never focus in class. “All of a sudden she didn’t feel naughty.”
Amera had scored evenly on both ADHD and anxiety assessments, but her anxiety disappeared once the ADHD was under control.
Melina had already put in place a lot of things that help people with ADHD function better: Routines in their home are regimented, everything is put back in the same place, and there are clocks in each room and alarms and reminders on her phone.
But these measures hadn’t been enough for Amera. With medication, however, she is doing well.
“She is methodical, less impulsive, and so happy in how capable she feels now that she can organize her thoughts,” Melina says.
Seeing Amera’s success has helped with one of the hardest parts of this process: feeling guilty about her daughter’s needing medication.
“It’s like I’m insufficient in my natural maternal state and should be able to do this naturally,” she says. “I feel very confident she’s benefiting from medication though.”
But Melina says not every child’s treatment should be the same. “It’s what makes sense for your family and makes everyone sleep better at night knowing they are doing their best.”
ADHD looks different in different people. The three types of ADHD are inattentive, hyperactive-impulsive, and combined.
Inattentive type ADHD is characterized by an inability to pay attention or stay focused, not seeming to listen, forgetting instructions, being disorganized, losing things, avoiding mentally challenging tasks, and being easily distracted. Some experts say girls are more likely to have the inattentive type, which contributes to them being called spacey, unmotivated, or not smart rather than being evaluated.
Hyperactive-impulsive type is characterized by constant fidgeting, being unable to stay seated, being noisy when they need to be quiet, excessive talking, seeming driven to move all the time, blurting out answers, interrupting, and having trouble taking turns. This is the stereotypical image most people have of ADHD: a boy who is constantly on the move.
Although boys with ADHD can present in this way, boys can also have inattentive type or combined type. As the name implies, combined type involves a combination of the two other types.
While the causes of ADHD are not completely understood, there is strong evidence for a genetic link. Parents finding out their biological child has ADHD may choose to seek evaluation for themselves. Experts agree, however, that bad parenting, too much TV, and sugary foods do not cause ADHD, though they might make it worse. Learning to respond patiently and lovingly to your child when they take unsafe risks, zone out, or repeatedly interrupt you is a significant part of learning to raise your child to be a confident adult.
Parents hearing a diagnosis of ADHD may feel discouraged, but it can be helpful to view their child as being imaginative, inventive, and having a unique way of approaching life even if they need help slowing down their racing thoughts. Many entrepreneurs, inventors, artists, and social activists have ADHD, and many feel it can be a gift. Your affirmation of your child’s strengths and successes will make a tremendous difference in how they feel about life and how they view themselves.
Supports and Therapies
Children with ADHD benefit from many kinds of support. Behavioral therapy in combination with parent training focused on positive reinforcement and gentle discipline have been shown to improve the behavior of children with ADHD. Mindfulness exercises may help, and accommodations in school may include a chair the child can bounce on, an acceptable fidget toy, and attention breaks.
Decades of scientific research support the use of medication to reduce the symptoms of ADHD. They can promote better performance in and out of school, as well as safer driving and sexual behavior into adolescence and adulthood. However, your child’s pediatrician or psychiatrist will work with you to determine the best course of treatment. Your knowledge about and participation in this process is fundamental whether or not you decide to try medication for your child.
Melina wants parents of a child newly diagnosed with ADHD to know that they are doing the right thing by addressing every option.
“It’s almost never the case that one thing alone works for someone,” she says, comparing ADHD to a physical illness like type 1 diabetes. Even though it is purely medical, she says, doctors still look at family support, lifestyle, and diet, as well as medication.
“So,” she says of ADHD, “you’ll look at family history, what you’ve done so far, the other options like therapy and medication. You have to look at all of it.”
She wants parents to know their kids aren’t broken. “They are incredible thinkers,” she says. “They just need a little help understanding their own thoughts.”
In order to protect the privacy of children and parents in our Britannica community, first names only are used in this article. The editors of Britannica for Parents do, however, routinely confirm the accuracy and integrity of all our sources.
Barkley, Russell A., Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents, Fourth Edition, 2020
CHADD, “Parenting a Child with ADHD,” [n.d.]
Hallowell, Edward, and Ratey, John, “ADHD Needs a Better Name. We Have One.” 2021